Wayne gets to go fly in a plane, but I woulda told him to go fly a....
....hooters....
hot wing special, but...
...the Honcho just grinned and said, "hooters..."
"...why I have milk cows with bigger...."
egos than an eskimo with.....
.....mukluks full of.....
tequila and lime juice just waiting to...
find a word that rhymes with "mukluk"..........
...that ain't a chicken word or a...
word thats gonna work very good in this here story, so for that I think Jetmex should...
....change the word to something everyone knows, like.....
" Taco Bell",,,,but Hooters don't sell no tacos......
unless you...
...find the "special" menu tucked inside the...
...well, no actually inside,......sorta in between, y'know, her......
...sofa cushions, which have...
toured the nation because...
...somebody invited the Swedish Bikini Team to Wyoming for......
...prairie dog control, but they forgot their...
...."Official Wyoming Prairie Dawg Spotter's Guide", choosing instead to bring a.....
...10 ft pole because...
...they wouldn't touch one of those...
with a 6' Italian either, afraid some one would tell him to......
go get some krispy kremes and...
...wear the paper hat, which...
deer seem to like, because...
...of the antlers that were glued onto them. The problem with that was.....
Carl tried to herd them off but...
...the smoke got in his eyes, so....
he grabbed his spatula and flipped........
..it at the south end of the tall leggy blonde. Startled, she.....
got her thong...
...all tangled up in Frazz's...
mosquito repeller, which caused....
...Frazz to open his eyes (a modest bloke, he), and see...
that a fire had started ...
and Frazz, being the gentleman he is, put out the fire with his......
krispy kreme hat, but ...
...the blonde, being a Dunkin' Donuts employee, responded by.........
...putting her thong back on backwards, then...
said ( in her best clint eastwood accent) " Go Ahead... Make My"...
order to go, since I have punks to shoot, then I'll ........
.....come back to ask if you feel lucky. Well, do ya? Frazz replied....
...Heh heh, c'mon back honey, I have a Fubarian or two for you to...
...smoke...they are like cubans, but with more cow manure. Suddenly, the quiet one they call Honcho......
I bet I could make a fortune rolling up cow manure and...
sure seemed to scare ya all off, but nevertheless...
Naw Frazz, I was waitin' for the obligatory "turd-smokin'" analogy... :disturbed: Not mine to make.
Quote from: Frazz on October 17, 2009, 11:38:34 AM
sure seemed to scare ya all off, ...but nevertheless
Quote
I bet I could make a fortune rolling up cow manure and...
...sell cigars to those who wouldn't tell the difference between...
...a hay feeder and a ....
...fine Bacarat...
Which is a South American rodent, which makes one wonder who grades such things and if they also....
...roll them on their thighs, which...
.....results in a pleasant tingling sensation, but can also cause a....
rise in global warming, or at least in the room, which...
is true, whilst wife and I were in St Maartin in march, I paid a woman to...
...whip...
cream for the top of the chocolate...
...chunky looking...
Bison Burgers, made from.......
the same stuff that...
.....they use to make duct tape, which tastes sort of like...
swisher sweets without the...
darnburned sticky glue, which will pull the hair off your......
chunky chocolate Bison thong....
...and Buzzardbeak knows this because...
he is into cheap thrills and pain, which leaves him wishing he had......
worn that polka dotted miniskirt instead of that...
..itchy thing that Frazzy had given to him for.............
...the lo-o-o-o-o-ong walk home after the wife...
...discovered...
the batteries for the........
...superford were...
.....actually installed in the remote for the garage door opener, which caused...
something to raise up every time the button was pushed and...
he thanked his lucky stars the door didn't slam on his.....
...tanned athletic...
...aly challenged...
....fishing tackle buying.....
right hand, which, by the way he also uses it for...
....peeling grapes in case an orgy breaks out.....
...the rest of us wonders whether it is green or red or white grapes, but...
..it has to be seedless because seeds cause your.........
...hair to fall out, which is not nearly as bad as.....
...being constipated from the seeds, but...
..to be seedless, or not to be seedless.......that is the question! Whether tis nobler in the minds of men to wear the polka dot mini skirt, or the chunky chocolate thong.....I know not.....to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous friends? .....Nay, but to bear the whips and scorns of well meaning fubarians doth bring a smile to his face.....and so smileth, he doth enter the chamber of.......
...amateur poets, who are lead around by their.....
bowels and consonants, err I mean vowels
...but Stetto, having misread the last post and grabbed a bottle of laxative, was appalled to find that..
he had misread the dosage and...
figured he might as well schedule the colonoscopy, so he...
just sat aound the you know where, thinking of ways to
get a free swedish massage from...
...Frau...
Quote from: stetto on October 24, 2009, 05:40:18 AM
...Frau...
Ok, I'll get this one, guys...
...Brucher (horses whinny), then...
gets worked over by Frau Bunnbiter, famous for her......
.....rendition of "Ohhhhhh sweet mysteries of life, at last I have fooouuuunnnddd you!!" which sent Stetto into spasms of....
..chocolate withdrawal...and.....
....ever mindful of the craving, Stetto went to the store to buy.....
not one, but two boxes of Ex-Lax 'cuz he wanted Frazz to "enjoy" the experience ................
Of the movement that goes with flying a...
...aaannnntttthhhiiinnnggg, since he hasn't flown since.......
...Hector was a...
...twinkle in...
..........young Honcho's eyes, which is not to be mistaken for a.....
tear :'( from a cut up onion, for that is...
....a sob story, similar to the tale about......
countraay musik... errr u said sob didnt you.. i thought it was s.o.b. but anyway similar to the tale about...
...Nony playing his country music records backwards. But, instead of getting his wife, dog and pickup back, he got.....
fame, fortune, and...
lotsa snow headed his way, along with temperatures colder than.......
...a Hooter's waitress' IQ. Nontheless, the young rancher picked up his geeeetar and one of his dogs, threw them in the pickup, and headed for.........
the docs office to get stitches, cuz the dog knew about those countraay saung thangs, and the dog...
eclectic music taste, preferring instead the ssooouuuuullllful sounds of.......
Allison Krause and Robert Plant...
...and Honcho's favorite....the face plant....
...a stunt performed by Lothar and the Leather Suicide Albinos, a heavy metal band which featured Stetto on lead kazoo, wearing spandex....
and a smile...
...... from thinking Honcho was getting snow, and Stetto was going to get......
...more spandex, until Terrin saw him wearing......
his durthday suite, which prominently featured...
.....elephant ears and a trunk the size of.......
...the guns on the battleship "Yamato." It was cumbersome, but didn't stop Stetto from....
oh he thought you said "tomatoes" and "cucumbers" and grew a "large" :eusa_doh: garden instead
...in downtown Hewston, where his best pal Jetmex was wiping the oil off......
...the cheeks of his...
...bouncing baby....
Boeing.....or was it an Airbus....can't tell them apart....anyways, he threw the oily rag.....
.....into the barrel on top of the other, some the heat could warm up the......
grill that Carl was fixin to..
...bolt into his offroad golf cart. But just when he thought it was ready to fire up, he discovered that.....
(Michael Jackson Beat) Billy Jean is not his... wait... errr Billy Sue is Carls lover, so they
proved it by...
heading for Honcho's hay barn, where they....
..almost froze certain body parts off, causing.......
Carl to sing..
...."I'm so hot for you but you're so cooooooolllllllddddd......." Upon hearing this, Nony said......
...to no one in particular...
crap...I think the windshield just shattered...this caused nony to.....
...yell "EJECT EJECT EJECT!!" He pulled the handle and then.....
all heck broke loose when the toilet...
...created a vacuum, holding Nony by his....
...thong...
...as the band in the lounge played...
....Barry manilow's version of " fly me to the moon", followed by........
..."I'm Stuck On You," which was played with dazzling brilliance by.......
Boxcar Willy and Zamfir, a duet recorded live at...
...the continental maintenance hanger whose daily drink special was the Broccoli Tuna Cappuccino, which happens to be the favorite beverage of Frazbeakmexonchonyetto. Wiping the froth from his face, he yelled out......
..."Hey, Frazbeakmexonchonyetto, this is some *urp* tasty stuff! Can I now have a...
... eshfray olledray ogday urdtay...
...which was a "touch" moist (from being so fresh), but he...
....stuffed it into the dehumidifier, which got rid of the fresh smell but left a....
earthy smell which..
...when rubbed behind the ears, drives women to.....
...go grab a...
...Glade Plug-In, though...
...not so earthy as a similar shaped object some call "cigars"....however Frazbeakmexonchonyetto, being very health conscious borderline vegetarian oyster lover would only indulge in truly organic....
...Just then, Frazbeakmexonchonyetto woke up from that dreadful organic nightmare dream, and went down to Carls grill, and when Carl wasnt looking...
he snatched a whole antelope backstrap off the grill and....
...headed out in the wonderful sunshine and headed north towards honcho's 18" of ssnnn...sssnnn..that white stuff, figuring he would stop along the way for...
...the National Hay Feeder Obstacle Trials across the road from the Honcho's...
Hooter Haven Hotel, where in the restaurant part the waitresses show you their huge...
...hay bales, stacked like.....
...Uh...Hay bales...But really FULL, ROUND hay bales with a...
place over in the corner where there is some loose hay, and sometimes...
...some loose women, wearing nothing but a .....
...loose hay bale, which prompts most visitors to...
...blush and look the other way, especially when one of the "loose women" is a cigar chompin' individual known to all. (remember this remark?
Quotewhilst wife and I were in St Maartin in march, I paid a woman to...
), With the tell tale stalk of wheat hanging from his mouth, he drawled ".......
" Lady, let me try rollin one of them on your thighs", then she and the wife simultaneously....
.....beat him about the face and body, yelling you filthy prevert (the first stage of being a pervert), we're gonna kick your.....
...dog and make up stories about you to spread all over the...
...internet. They must be true if they're on the internet. Unfortunately, the story got mixed up with another site and was posted along with pictures from....
Nony's secret tv love, ethyl merman, and
..Dr Nighmare shown here removing Fraz's tongue...which is why he can't talk so good..however, it created more room in his mouth for.....
(http://www.rcfcbc.com/forums/album_pic.php?pic_id=833)
...that huge gooeyduck that came from the planet....
Krypton, however Frazz has a stash of kryptonite and superfrazz aint puttin no gooyduck in his mouth for sure, oyster maybe, but noooo gooyduck, thats for sure, but maybe...
mmmmmgggffff gggooooofffff fmmmgggg <gag>.......
mumbled nony sitting in a dark corner when Ethyl sweetly asked if nony could...
....put on the thong and sing that country song about.....
...frost down on yer pumpkin, which is hillbilly code for...
...it's colder than my first wife out there. I know, how cold was she? :devil: Well, she was so cold that.....
...you didn't need a freezer to keep the ice cream cold. When she touched Frazz's gooeyduck, it....
...sprang to life, but suddenly froze (ouch!) shooting sharp pains up his........
...shell, which slammed shut on his....
...never ending story. So he borrowed his neighbors Kenworth (with cruise control) and decided to take a road trip to cheer himself up, and visit his old pal...................
jetmex, now that he knows the area he lives in, and he found jetmex repairing a rubber.....
...grommet that was pinching off the blood flow to his...
...left eyelid, which began twitching after he found out that.....
Penelope Fudpucker was looking for him because...
..when he rolled the seegar on her firm thighs, it made her think of.......
all the dirty dishes in the sink, thats all wimmen think about because...
...some cigars just have that aromatic dishwater smell, besides...
You can blow bubbles with some cigars, which is the ones that Buzzardbeak likes because...
its gotta be better than the smell of them dogturds (obligatory joke), and any expierenced bubbler can play songs like.....
...Watchin The Bubbles In My Beer, which Willy wrote for...
Jetmex, because when he takes a bath, there are bubbles...
in his champagne, which he drinks while he hangs onto......
every last note of Ethyl's newest song...
,,,the Texas version of "tiny bubbles" appropriately called......
...The Sheepherders Lament (cue the band), OOnnllyy ewe can make my dreams come true, oooonnnnlllyy ewe can....
be a worse song if Buzzardbeak is singing it, but if he has a couple o shots of das vhisky, he...
...lived uncomfortably happy for ever and ever....
The End