So, El John Wayno gets his gun and uno bulleto out, and the first thing he shoots...
ees a gringo trying to steal hees wheesky......
We interrupt this ridiculous thread to make a few ethnic corrections that, left alone, would besmirch the entire reputation of the Hispanic race.
First - to point a firearm at someone and squeeze the trigger is to "choot", not shoot.
Second - any Mezzican worth his salt does not drink whiskey, he drinks mezcal and will fight to the death for the worm. Whiskey is for horses (or was that beer?), europeans and Americanos.
We apologize for any incovenience these silly Gringo errors may have caused and now return you to the thread in progress.....
Quote from: balsum fractus on November 13, 2012, 07:33:21 PM
ees a gringo trying to steal hees wheesky......
...which carries a mysterious agave aroma and lack of the characteristic caramel coloring, not to mention a 1 & a half inch caterpillar dancing at the bottom of the bottle ('zat better juan?), at such deescovery ol' Juan Juayne intead choots...
..hees burro. But, he meesed, and the boolet eenstead went through Tio Sancho's cantina and heet a....
....a feexture een los banos, causeeng...
Uncle Sancho to lose heees balance, thus leading El uncle-o to eeexclaiiiim...
..."Ohhhhhhhhh cheeeeeeeeeeet!!" Wheech was not far from the trooth, because Mama Yoli, chee come running out and finds......
""que cabron!".....chee eggsclaims....
As che serves her heuvos con carne asada de queso e carbone a la edgar...weeth leetle chiles tepin eenside, known worldwide as...
...Once again we interrupt this rediculous thread so Frazz has time to order a computer from Mexico so he can understand wtf is going on in this thread. Ok.. back to regular scheduled programming...
...Una vez más interrumpimos este hilo rediculous para que Frazz tiene tiempo para ordenar a un equipo de México para que pueda entender wtf está pasando en este hilo. Vale.. volver a regular había programado la programación...
...Y el Guapo esta con su madre, en la casa de Pepe...
...de la Sanchez Mario Cavasos y Enchiladas. He was watching una novella en el television quando Mama Yoli walked een and exclaimed.....
El woeoo el me-oh orfay artingstay isthay eadthray. El onlyo exicanmay Iyay nowknay is acotays and iestasays :notworthy: :notworthy:
Spanglish or No-lish, pick one...Klaatu barada nicto...
Suuure wish I knew Klingon.. man then I'd have you guys :)
<pause> ...And the handsome with his mother, at the home of Pepe... I dunno Stetto..I think you is foolin' us.. </pause>
Frazz....here's a dictionary for you....
...said senor Canuckistano as he performed the standard leary facial expression and...
went to the audio library to find another stompin tom conners tune. But, he ran into some ted nugent songs and...
..asked him if he knew where to get an automated mouse-clicker so he could beat frazz at....
...the wango tango. But Frazz, who happened to be an expert at the wango tango, sneered back and said.....
I do like my tango wango'ed, but not by the likes of you, so...
sayeth the king of clickers as he dusts off his RCOnline Diploma attesting to the fact that yes, he is #1 at something........
...besides wanging his tango, which is currently occupied with...
wondering where its youth went :disgust:... well anyways, we went to Uncle Sanchez's restaurant.. er Aaron Sanchez's ( of food network fame) restaurant in kansas city last weekend and had...
...Perro con queso por la pedo, an intimate little dish that...
...unlike moo shu Shi Tzu, has a decidedly Latin flavor. However, Frazz, being unused to either variety, took one bite and immediately began to....
sing Ein Prosit in German because...
...Er hat keine lust zum schpielen, und...
so he mustarded up a vienerschnitzel real good and then...
he has no desire to what????
Quote from: balsum fractus on December 06, 2012, 08:09:55 PM
he has no desire to what????
no idea what the Mr Canuckistan is talking about here, we are in the process of telling whoppers, lies, and fibs... not necessarily in that order.
Creo que la nieve ha afectado a los norteños por aquí. De hecho, es tan frío allí arriba un cierto algo que se ha reducido tanto que ...
...Jemand der sich mürrisch in ihren Alter!
Ponieważ nikt nie wie, jakie piekło jesteśmy mówiąc: omówię tylko dodać to co się dzieje. Mamy teraz powrót do śmieszne to nici .... ..
Este hilo no es ridículas. Es divertido y entretenido. Además de que no es como cualquiera de nosotros tiene nada más que hacer.
.. y el español es una segunda lengua, Senior Frazz erróneamente órdenes de carga dumptruck 192 de Nieve. Ellos están en camino ahora, mientras hablamos ...
(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSvgIQXsorJVCpLOaO7FIM_2xaQa3NVDTFheE-udibRpAQbbzGw_w)
Mira!! Mira!! Una troca lleno de ni.....nie........niev........agua blanca!!
We will now take a short break to allow MetJex to reload his pistola con boolets so this thread can continue the silliness for which we have become famous. Arriva!! Arriva!! Andale!! Andale!! Eeeeeehaaaaahhhh!!
"Rebar! Underlay!" cried Uncle Sancho as he poured the concrete over the...
babblefish and google translator webpages and...
Aha!! The fear of snow was the clue that Inspector Frazz was looking for......the evil Dr. Metjex had reveiled his whereabouts........
..which happened to be in a bunker deep beneath a hay feeder in the wilds somewhere in Wyoming. As he extended the infrared night vision periscope to check out the surroundings, he was amazed to see...
ole honcho headed out to the barn to the super secret stash of hostess twinkies and whatnot, so the dastardly evil Dr. MetJex...
..ducked back into his secret lair to continue work on his plan of world domination. Since Preparation A thru G had failed miserably, he was now working on an all new fool proof plan called.....
plan H, because...
" on the whole,................."
wheat bagel he had spread some...
....of Tio Sancho's rocket fu.....errr.....salsa, which turned out to be so hot that....
when the northerner Mr Canuckistan let one whoosh :eusa_hand: :eek5: :eusa_clap: it melted so much of that snow that...
it drowned all the prairie dogs this side of Kansas. The good people of Kansas needed a hero to defend them from the hords of illegal immigrant prairie dogs....Inspector Frazz started chooting....
all of Juan Wayno's buwwets up and...
..the prairie dawgs, tired of being shot at all the time and not being able to do anything about it, had finally had enough. Juan Wayno was extememly surprised to see a prairie dawg army advancing on his hacienda, armed with.....
an airsoft mounted on a John Deere with an endless supply of prairie dawg pellets.... the chooting began and Juan Wayno ....aka Eenspector Frazz ......aka Herr Doktor Frazzenheimer began to scream like a......
rolls royce turbine because when el sancho brought a mirror, there was an image of zrct02 holding up a straight edge razor and...
since he sometimes shows symptoms of Parkinson's and Herr Doktor Frazzenheimer didn't know...
...that zrct02 (who was really an advanced cyborgtronic robot with a few software glitches sent by the prairie dawgs to infiltrate the humans), was actually there to shave Herr Doktor Frazzenheimer's.....
time off of the quarter mile in the ole Case International tractor, so...
..after filling the Case's tank with some of Tio Sancho's sals...errr...rocket fuel, Herr Doktor Frazzenheimer sat zrct02 in the driver's seat and instructed him to fire up the engine. Suddenly....
....the 192 dumptruck loads of snow arrived at casa del Frazz.....
Balsams imagination was working overtime it appears and I would suspect him smoking something but it is christmas season, so there are visions of sugarplumbs and...
.....Senor Frazz still hasn't come to grips with all those dumptrucks and prairie dawgs invading his plantation....he raced for his burro and..........
and Meeester canoookistan hasnt fathomed that we havent had 2 flakes of snow, which I might add that honcho hoarded those 2 from the last storm :disturbed: ahhhh haha hahaha ( maniacal laugh over thinking about snow) and ill throw in a few prairie dogs in the mix, and I will take that burrito that was offered and...
...correction - burro, not burritto.....
(http://0.tqn.com/d/gomexico/1/0/e/L/-/-/burro.JPG)
and so (oh man, isnt that a homely looking burro at that) El Juan Wayno is on his way to...
...the West Texas town of El Paso to buy un caballo suave. Unfortunately, he was a little short of pesos, so he was forced to sell his...
...magic beans that the woodsman....er... Wyoming rancher.... had given him........
but the evil dr. zrct02 got wind of the beans and...
got wind. Then he...
said "hey, I'm still alive, the world didn't end today" , so with much relief...
.....thanked his lucky stars; took an oath of eternal poverty; and gave all his stuff away to......
the government, then donned his shorts and thongs and went to el paso, where on the way...
.....he lost his dignity....
but then the lucky hombre abscounded home with a half dozen dozen (is that half gross or half a gross :P ) of those homemade tamalies, which I would trade a box of bullets for...
his beemer, for he had the secret "James Bond" option. Among many cool features, it could....
make frazz's paycheck disappear faster than a
speeding booolet. Nonetheless...
suddenly...........
Nony realized he had lost a fortune in his Cyprus bank account, because
Fubar stock had gone through the floor due to.........
a certain bass players crotch.. er leg shots on a moveeee and the young thangs upon viewing this just...
signed up for aversion therapy. The resulting litigation was overwhelming - even for the extensive assets of Fubar Inc, and the stock plummeted.........
because someone :eusa_boohoo: didnt dial in their bass boat.. er guitar and the resulting thumping...
...was heard all the way back to the desert, where MetJex, who was still wandering around looking for the gringo who stole his boolets, wondered what all the fuss was about. Imagine his surprise, when on the tv in his local cantina, he saw....
..his burro riding in the back seat of the Lone Strangers '58 Caddy convertible............
...with a bevy of bikini clad beauties, strumming El Stetto's patched together guitar and singing....
"I got friends in loooow places" which perked up the ears of Fubar manufacturing and spa corporate who opened a case ...
...of free-holies, in the hope that the ensuing...
....cultural diversity would encourage more people to....
....speeek like theeessse....
Suddenly zrct02 jolted awake from his nap with a baaaaaad dream, and declared...
.."Queekstraw!! Queekstraw!! Some greengo stole my boolets and my frijoles! Eet ees time to call El Kabong!" Mrs zrct02, hearing this, woke up and........
said ".......hey hey hey.........is that a pickinic- type basket I see.......?"
So they grabbed all the camping gear they could muster and headed up to stettoville, where once they got there, exclaimed...
" looke....eet ees senior Ernesto on de burro seenging...."