tHE tRAGIC tALE OF THE sUICIDAL iDIOT sQUIRRELL

[stetto]

I was working on the house today, mostly Mama's office, which was a major remodel from the beauty shop it was into the accountant's office it is now, and spent much of the morning moving materials and debris from one end of the house to the other...I would pass a number of windows during the process, and noticed that a young fox squirrel was foraging the last of the crab apples from the tree in the back yard. He seemed mighty aggressive, all balled up around something so insignificant as a shrivelled crab apple, but for him I suppose it could be the difference during the dark days of January and February...

As the morning progressed I'd noticed that he hadn't moved, still wrestling the same crab apple from the same branch...

A little after noon I took a break and, while standing at the kitchen window, discovered the true intent of my gray-furred friend. He was still on the same branch, but had apparently lost all vigor for the battle, or so I had thought.

All that morning, instead of working with the last of what had been a bumper crop of humanly useless crab apples, the little bugger had been busy trying to hang himself--No, really! I am quite sure that had he the accoutrement's, such as opposing thumbs and some small amount of time as a Navy midshipman, he might have gotten the knot sooner...And with just another brain cell or two, tied it at the right end...

Alas, no brain genius was he...

...And yes, I set him free...After a few incriminating and embarrassing photos were taken...

[wtxsflyr]

That is to funny Stetto.  You know they make awesome squirrel and dumplin's.

Carl

[stetto]

Yes Carl, I do know that. This one wouldn't have tasted too awful good after spending the morning in a blind adrenaline rush panic, trying to chew his own tail off...

We got lots more where he come from, and they're all just about as smart...

[Onepoint]

I'm not sure what use blackmail material is on a squirrel, but you just never know.  

[stetto]

Well, there's the blackmail angle, and there's the thorn-in-the-lion's-paw angle...That squirrel's tail was NOT gonna be untied by him. He was so tired of trying to get out of his predicament that he just hung there like that, even when I was setting him free. He didn't even have the strength to run away, he walked briskly. I figure he owes me one...Maybe I can get him to lure the chipmonks into an ambush come Spring...

When I snapped the twig and set him down, he went straight back towards the tree trunk--How's that for short term memory loss? Mom and PuddinFace were in the office, hollering at him to just run to the woods, which he finally did, but not very fast.

He was a young'un though; He didn't have much red to him yet. I saw him again this morning out behind the eighth-acre, with a chunk of twig still hanging off his tail...

[zrct02]

We have suicide squirrels down here.  It's evidently cool for a squirrel to have tire tracks.  The wife and I rate them.
0 - 9 from far away to real dang close.  9.999 if he gets under the moving car and doesn't become a pancake.
10 is a real flat squirrel.

[stetto]

We find our entertainment where we can, eh Roger...

They have that same rating game with dogs down in Arkansas...I chose not to play...